Philosophical Shower Thoughts + Week In Review 5
A look at how products can soothe or frustrate us — plus what caught my eye this week.
Our shampoo, conditioner and body wash bottles have been on the floor of our shower for over six months.
For nearly six months, I’ve been telling myself every time I get in the shower, “We really need a shower caddy.” I can’t stand clutter, and really can’t stand when water collects in bottles that have a bottom screw-on lid — like conditioner and face wash. I was imagining a standing, tri-level shower caddy or even a cute teak bench to place our bottles on, but when I brought the idea of buying a shower caddy up to my partner, he instantly said he wanted one that hangs over the door.
“That’s fine,” I told myself. “Sure, it’s not the cute teak bench you’ve been daydreaming about, but if Scott has that much of a preference and it solves the bottles on the floor dilemma, I’m happy.”
The above is the shower caddy I got after chatting about the idea with Scott. It’s nothing fancy, and I would rather have had black than grey, but it’s fine. It gets the job done. There’s just one teensy problem: it doesn’t fit over the damn door.
To me, this is a moment of irony, frustration and humor. Of COURSE this shower caddy wasn’t going to fit properly. I didn’t measure the door frame, thinking it would be a universal fit. I didn’t go with my gut design choice of a standing option, choosing instead to prioritize Scott’s desire. I went the easy and available route, rather than being patient enough to find the right thing.
Some of you reading this might be asking yourselves a seemingly obvious question: “Why did you even ask Scott? Why didn’t you just go out and buy what you wanted?”
This is a good point. Why did I ask? It wasn’t out of codependency — I do things and make decisions without Scott’s input all the time. Why did I essentially ask permission to buy something in the first place?
The reason is simple, embarrassing and not uncommon: I use shopping as a medicator. When I’m feeling sad, low, frustrated or helpless, I shop to give myself a dopamine hit, sense of satisfaction and a facade of control.
If you’re not familiar with medicators, here’s a quick recap: Some therapeutic modalities use the idea of a medicator to make a person aware of the behaviors and habits they regularly engage in to number out, disengage and avoid feeling their feelings.
For me, this is shopping. My situation is pretty mild: I don’t have any credit card debt, I usually purchase things that are $50 or less and I don’t do it very often. But, a medicator is still a medicator, and it’s not a behavior I want to cultivate in my life. My fix is to talk through all purchases with Scott. I can immediately tell when I bring up something I’d like to buy if it’s me coping, or something we actually need. I can tell the difference by the feeling in my stomach and chest. If I get that tight, “I’m embarrassed by this” feeling in my gut, then I know the item I’m talking about buying is a medicator for a feeling I don’t want to address. If I don’t feel guilt when I talk about something I want to buy, then I know it’s legit.
I’m aware that this is a pretty philosophical drift from shampoo bottles to internal motivations and coping strategies, but it shines a light on how I’ve approached product journalism for a long time. In the past, when I was employed full-time, there were products I wrote about that genuinely didn’t interest me, or that I personally felt were non-essential. I wrote about them because our audience was interested in them, or the data said our audience might be interested.
This newsletter is my attempt to bridge capitalism with personal fulfillment; self-discovery with product discovery; the aspirational with the realities of my life. Everything I recommend here is something that either genuinely excites me or catches my eye — that’s why you won’t see my latest purchase, the shower caddy, make this list.
With all that said, let’s dive into all the home goods, apparel, outdoor gear and lifestyle accessories that caught my eye this week1.
What I Wore
There’s no better time than summer to bust out an all-white ensemble. (Besides the shoes — we’re not going crazy here.) I am a huge fan of the Jungmaven Ocean Pant for its relaxed silhouette and elastic waistband, and the white colorway screams “summer evening cocktail hour” to me. I’d wear these out to dinner, for coffee with friends or even just hanging around the house — they’re that comfy.
What I Saw
This past week was RICH in things to see and pine over. This calendar had me daydreaming about becoming a more organized human; this candle is both cute and funcitonal; I’m contemplating adding this shelf into our kitchen remodel design; this whole Zara x Collagerie collection is chef’s kiss; and this smoothie sounds like a nice treat for one of these hot summer days. Cleaning can be cute too, and this set demonstrates that elusive marriage of form and function.
What I Tried
It was a real Jungmaven week over here. In the interest of replacing synthetic materials in my wardrobe with natural ones, I tried this activewear set from the brand, which includes the Sporty Tank and Orosi Pocket Leggings. Both are made in Los Angeles, from hemp, organic cotton and just a teensy bit of spandex. I was anticipating the set would feel heavier or less breathable than my synthetic options, but was pleasantly surprised at how comfortable it is. I’ll be penning a round-up of my favorite non-toxic activewear soon, so keep an eye out!
What I Read
I’m re-reading Atomic Habits to make sure the lessons I learned the first go-around really stick. I’m also looking for a new non-fiction read — let me know in the comments if you’ve read anything good lately!
What I Listened To
I usually put on podcasts in the car, but this week I was more inclined to put on some tunes. I listened to Beach House, Royel Otis, The Middle East and The Cactus Channel. I also made this playlist of sad songs that make me daydream — I can report it does indeed make me daydream (and cry) every time I listen, without fail.
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